The Puppy Survival Kit: 12 Things That Saved My Sanity as a New Dog Parent
Welcome back to No Bone Zone, where the carpets are stained, the coffee is bottomless, and we love our dogs more than sleep itself.
Bringing home a new puppy is pure joy — until you realize they’re basically a tornado wrapped in fur and cuteness. Between the chewing, the peeing, and the existential dread of “what did I get myself into,” it helps to have a few survival tools on hand.
Here are 12 things that saved my sanity (and my furniture) during those first few chaotic months — all tried, tested, and 100% drool-approved.
🛏️ 1. The Crate That’s Actually Comfortable
Forget wire boxes that look like mini prisons. A soft, cozy crate turns bedtime battles into peace treaties.
Affiliate angle: Link to a comfy crate bed + cover set here.
Pro tip: Add a worn T-shirt inside — it smells like you and helps them relax.
🧸 2. Indestructible Chew Toys (a.k.a. Relationship Savers)
If it squeaks, bounces, or tastes vaguely like peanut butter, it’s a winner.
Chew toys keep them busy — and your couch intact.
Affiliate angle: List a few toys you swear by, like KONGs or Nylabones.
🧼 3. Enzymatic Cleaner for Accidents (and Regrets)
Because puppies have terrible aim.
An enzymatic cleaner doesn’t just mask odors — it breaks them down so your pup doesn’t keep “revisiting” that spot.
Affiliate angle: Link to your favorite pet-safe cleaner.
🍪 4. Training Treats That Don’t Smell Like Feet
You’ll hand out approximately 4,000 treats in the first month. Might as well pick ones that don’t make you gag.
Affiliate angle: Healthy, low-odor treats with real ingredients.
🦮 5. A Decent Leash and Harness
Your forearm shouldn’t feel like it went through CrossFit after a walk.
Affiliate angle: Comfortable harnesses with no-pull designs + cute patterns = sellable and photogenic.
📸 6. Pet Camera — Because You’re a Helicopter Parent Now
Yes, you’ll spy on your dog while you’re gone. No, you shouldn’t feel bad about it.
Affiliate angle: PetCube, Furbo, or Wyze cameras (recurring commissions on Amazon or Chewy).
🧺 7. Puppy Pads That Don’t Betray You
Not all pads are created equal. Get the thick, absorbent ones — the kind that don’t let pee seep through like a bad life decision.
Affiliate angle: Include a link to your go-to brand (Amazon or Chewy).
☕ 8. A Mug That Says “Send Coffee (and Wine)”
Technically not for the puppy, but let’s be honest — it’s for survival.
Affiliate angle: Funny dog-parent mugs, Etsy affiliate links, or Amazon home goods.
💧 9. Collapsible Water Bowl for Walks
Because apparently, puppies get “thirsty” halfway through every adventure.
Affiliate angle: Compact travel gear like bowls or dispensers = great Amazon products.
🩵 10. A Puppy Playpen (Your Sanity Zone)
Sometimes you need five minutes to fold laundry or cry in peace. A playpen is the baby gate of dog parenthood.
Affiliate angle: Foldable pens with washable mats.
🧠 11. Brain Games and Puzzle Feeders
Mental stimulation = fewer chewed shoes.
Puzzles tire them out faster than walks sometimes.
Affiliate angle: List your favorite puzzle feeders or treat balls.
🧴 12. Dog Shampoo That Doesn’t Smell Like “Wet Animal”
You’ll bathe them often (because “mud” is a lifestyle choice).
Find a gentle shampoo that smells nice and doesn’t dry their skin.
Affiliate angle: Promote natural or oatmeal-based pet shampoos.
🐕 Final Thoughts
Raising a puppy is chaos, but it’s the fun kind — the kind that makes you laugh even when you’re scrubbing pee at midnight. The right tools won’t make you a perfect dog parent, but they’ll make you a functional one.
So grab your chew toys, stock up on cleaner, and remember: one day, you’ll miss this madness (but probably not the smell).
