10 Ways Raising a Puppy Is Exactly Like Raising a Toddler
Welcome to the No Bone Zone — where fur babies and chaos collide.
If you’ve ever thought, “Wow, this puppy is like a toddler with teeth,” you’re not wrong. Raising a dog somehow manages to be part joyful, part exhausting, and 100% character-building. Whether you’re housebreaking a Labrador or convincing your Frenchie not to eat your AirPods, here are 10 ways puppies and toddlers are basically the same species.
1. Sleep Is a Myth
New puppy? Say goodbye to REM sleep. You’ll spend your nights half-awake listening for whimpers, the jingle of a collar, or the sound of a “bathroom emergency” happening on your carpet.
Dog parent pro tip: Invest in a good crate pad and a white noise machine — it’s like the baby monitor of dog ownership.
2. They Have Zero Respect for Personal Space
Shower alone? Eat alone? Pee alone? Ha! Puppies, like toddlers, believe your sole purpose in life is to be a warm, walking cuddle dispenser. You’re basically a human jungle gym with a debit card.
3. They Put Literally Everything in Their Mouth
Rocks, socks, hair ties, furniture legs, your soul — it’s all fair game.
You’ll say “Drop it!” more times in a week than you ever thought possible.
Affiliate angle: Link to indestructible chew toys here — because your slippers didn’t sign up for this.
4. Tantrums Are a Love Language
One minute they’re cute and cuddly; the next, they’re losing it because you dared to take away their favorite stick. The emotional rollercoaster is real. The good news? Both respond well to snacks. Always snacks.
5. Potty Training Breaks Your Spirit
You’ll Google things like “how long can a puppy hold it?” and “is pee on hardwood permanent?”
Spoiler: No matter how many puppy pads you buy, they’ll always miss by this much.
6. They Learn Best Through Bribery
Forget complex parenting theories — it’s all about positive reinforcement.
Puppies and toddlers both respond to the same method: “Do this thing, and you get a treat.”
Affiliate angle: Link to your favorite healthy dog treats or training clicker here.
7. They’re Adorable, Even When They Ruin Everything
You’ll watch your puppy drag your favorite shoe into the yard, and instead of anger, you’ll feel this weird mix of rage and affection. It’s the same energy as when a toddler proudly “decorates” your wall with crayons.
8. Milestones Are Weirdly Emotional
First sit. First “stay.” First successful poop outside. You’ll text your friends about it like it’s breaking news.
“HE SAT ON COMMAND!” Congratulations, you’re officially that parent.
9. They Copy Your Energy
Ever notice how your dog gets wild when you’re excited or lazy when you’re on the couch? Same with toddlers. They’re tiny emotional sponges who mirror your chaos.
So yes, if your dog’s losing their mind — maybe you are too.
10. You’d Still Do It All Over Again
No matter how many shoes they chew, rugs they ruin, or mornings they wake you at 4 a.m., you’ll still look at that face and melt.
Because, like kids, dogs make your house a home — just with more fur and fewer college funds.
🦴 Final Thoughts
Raising a puppy (or a toddler) will test your patience, sense of humor, and the limits of your cleaning supplies. But it’ll also fill your life with laughter, loyalty, and a love so unconditional it makes every mess worth it.
If you’re deep in the “puppy stage,” hang in there — it gets easier. And if you’re doing both? You’re a superhero. A tired, snack-bribing superhero.
